"Be the change you wish to see in this world"

Come visit me at my new blog ...

2008-08-13T19:12:00.001-05:00

Into the Mystic is my new space and I imported all the posts from here over there.

Thanks for checking in! And please come visit!

Ah! The blessings of teachers!

2007-11-04T10:12:00.000-05:00

When I was at the village in October, we had a day long workshop given by Katherine James, Ph.D. (my advisor, btw) on Esoteric Insights to Death. Present at this workshop was someone I had never met (well, there were LOTS of people I hadn't met!) but I was particularly struck by Risa. Her comments during the presentation showed amazing depth and knowledge of the Wisdom Teachings and added significantly to the discussion. Tooling around the Sancta Sophia site, I noticed that the weekly astrology readings and commentary were written by Risa. So, I've started reading them to see what each week's energy may bring.

This week's forecast for Libra said this:

You may have been thinking of how to help those in sorrow, who need care and thoughtfulness, kindness and understanding. In the month to come you will reach out to those in need in a more spacious manner. All judgments of others, especially family members, you will find are not useful to you. Nor are they Right Human Relations. Something teaches you this.

A confession: In the past, I have been a very judgmental person. I am less so now but constantly have to be conscious of those thoughts seeping into my mind and heart. I realize, as Wayne Dyer has pointed out, that judging someone is not at all about them but about my need to judge. My need to feel "better than" someone else. I know I swing from feeling vastly superior to everyone (ha! I know. Isn't that sad?) to feeling like a piece of crap (sad as well). Who I am lies somewhere in the middle, most days. Do I have gifts and skills that make me a cool chick? Yep. Do I have things about myself that I need to work on? Oh yes. I'm thankful for being conscious of those things and making my way forward.

As I commented to Cousin 'O Love recently, I wish that teachers made things a little easier for us to learn our lessons. But what good would that do? The best teachers reflect back to us the things we most need to improve upon. (IMO, anyway) When I reach out in loving kindness and am met with indifference (or what I perceive as indifference), I feel sad. Yet, what is the lesson? Do I continue to reach out and detach from the outcome? Do I say "I'm done" because they didn't "ooh and ahhh" over my offer? Where is the middle ground for me here?

Risa's comments were right on target for me this week. Those judgments I am in the habit of making do not serve me. Being conscious of them as they occur helps me see the path to Right Action. And that is the role of a good teacher, is it not?

One of my favorite prayers

2007-10-08T20:27:00.000-05:00

(crossposted at The Healing Change)

Make Me Strong in Spirit

Mother and Father God,
Make me strong in spirit,
Courageous in action,
Gentle of heart,

Let me act in wisdom,
Conquer my fear and doubt,
Discover my own hidden gifts,

Meet others with compassion,
Be a source of healing energies,
And face each day with hope and joy.

What is forgiveness?

2007-09-22T23:30:00.000-05:00

Forgiveness is never saying something was 'ok' - forgiveness says, I give your actions in my past no power over the goodness in my future. Forgiveness frees you up - it has little to do with the other.

This quote, taken from a newsletter published by Ann Albers, really hit me. In the past six months, I've had an experience that hurt me on so many levels. I felt betrayed, sad, used, and a host of other things. And as much as I try to walk my talk on the whole "what you think about expands" idea, I could not seem to let it go and "forgive" what had happened. For someone who has never really been a grudge holder, this felt quite foreign to me. I was angry. Angrier than I have been in a while. And try as I might, I could not let it go.

That is, until I read these words by Ann. And it totally came together for me. "I give your actions no power over me" - wow. I realized how much of my power I've given away, not only in this instance, but in many relationships. My mom went to her grave holding on to hurts 30 years in the past. She carried it with her to the end. And while I will never know for sure, it is my sense that this emotional pain contributed to her physical pain.

We all have had experiences that hurt us deeply. Some things seem so difficult to forgive. Yet, this statement says "I choose not to give this power over how I feel". Easy to say, very hard to put into practice. I choose. I can choose. That alone was hard for me to grasp. (Those people pleasers out there will totally understand this, I'm sure.) Wayne Dyer has a mantra that says "I choose peace rather than this." Again saying I CHOOSE.

With the decision to CHOOSE comes responsibility for those choices. We will talk more about that another day. For now, consider that forgiveness allows you to release that which no longer serves you and opens the door to new energy.

What are your thoughts?

Rose, auras and Bill Bauman

2007-04-03T19:41:00.000-05:00

Have you had a chance to read Rose Rosetree's latest 'zine? If not, give it a read now and then come on back.

All ready? Good. :) Rose takes a look at Bill Bauman, one of her teachers and mentors, in anticipation of his workshop this month. What a beautiful aura he has. So service oriented and gentle, isn't it? It's rare, even in the mystical "woo-woo" community, to find one as pure as his. One of the things I love about Rose's method of reading auras is that you don't have to see colors or patterns or anything like that. For many of us (myself included), it's about tuning in and getting impressions and feelings that give you a bit of information about the person.

For example, I'm quite the verbal person. So it should come as no surprise that much of the information I get when tuning in comes as words. I "hear" words and, as Rose taught, follow along with the questioning technique. If I don't understand what I'm getting, I simply ask "what does that mean?" and the answer usually comes right through.

Once, as I was holding my husband's hand and tuning in to see what was going on with him,I heard the words "the stranger". I had no idea on that one at all. So, I asked what that meant and I heard (or so I thought) "mueseli". That wasn't much help and as I was turning that over in my mind, I heard "No. MU-SIC-LY". After asking my husband what he was thinking about, he said he was humming his favorite song "The Stranger" by Billy Joel. The moral of the story is this: don't be afraid to ask if what you get sounds weird (like mueseli!). The universe, in all its magnificent wisdom, will help you "get it". Truly.

Please feel free to comment if something Rose said in her 'zine piqued your interest. Each month she teaches her readers a bit more about this amazing field and how you can put it to use in your own life.

Don't forget to check out Rose's classes and intensives and especially Bill's workshop "Expanding your healing gifts".

Beginning once again

2007-03-22T20:26:00.000-05:00

Hello again!

I am coming back to this blog because this has been a wonderful vessel for my thoughts and musings on matters spiritual.

"A writer takes his pen to write the words again ...." - Paul Simon

Consider the pen taken up once again.

Shifting over

2006-11-01T23:15:00.000-05:00

Come join me at my new blog called The Healing Change where I continue the conversations of all things spiritual and woo-woo.

And if you're stopping by from Rose's 'zine, leave a comment and say hi!

Peace,
Lisa

Taking responsibility for your words

2006-08-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

I am very fortunate that one of my "gifts of the soul" (per Rose) is a very strongly developed sense of empathy with others. Some days, I think it's a bit too strong but that's a story for another time. It is this gift that allows me to the ability to choose my words carefully when speaking to others because I have a sense of how it will impact them.

Might I delicately state that this is NOT a gift I inherited from my mother? She's a "blurter" - given to just saying whatever is on her mind without that filter that many people have. You know that filter. The one that tells you "Oh, this might not be a nice and/or appropriate thing to say to someone" or "Gosh, what if this were said to me? How would I feel?" I am quite often the recipient of said blurting. And while I admit that I take things a bit too personally at times, I still can't help but feel that at some point, it's really important to understand the impact of your words on another.

Even during heated fights with ex-boyfriends, I never, EVER used anything they told me in a vulnerable moment against them. That seems to be a cheap shot, you know? I would try to argue my point with them but would never think of cutting them with my words. I've had that done to me and it really hurts. Perhaps things said in the heat of an arguement bounce off most people but I cannot just spew. I'd like to sometimes I'm human and I get pissed and think crappy things. But thinking it is different than SAYING it (although I am really working on the "thinking it" part too). Once you've said it, you have no idea how it will impact that person. Will it truly bounce off them? Will it worm its way into their soul and cause them pain? I don't like to do things like that. There's enough pain out there as it is.

I just know how I feel when I've been dumped on, whether it's by my mom, a former friend, or a stranger. And as I'm working on following the "Golden Rule", I don't want to do to others what I dislike being done to me.

They "get" it

2006-08-13T15:53:00.000-05:00

Below I've quoted from a diary Cindy Sheehan wrote on Daily Kos. As you can imagine, I am a big Cindy supporter. I think she represents the heart of peace and has taken on the "smear merchants" and helped put a face to our collective pain regarding this administration.

While I won't go any deeper into politics than that on this blog, I will say that she really gets it. What is the IT she gets? "... his heart is connected to ours, his heart just forgot that." She gets that we are all connected. Once you begin to open your eyes to this and are not blinded to the "us vs. them" mentality that is so popular both here and in other countries, you can appreciate what she and so many others are trying to do.

Abu Salem and I talked about how we are all the same on the inside no matter what color, religion, language we speak, or what artificial border line we were accidentally born in. We all have the same hearts. Our hearts are all connected. When I reluctantly admitted to Abu Salem that even George Bush's heart was connected to ours, I thought he was going to crash the taxi. He yelled; "F**king, Bush. He has no heart he is a demon!" I softly replied to Abu Salem as I had my own epiphany: "No Abu Salem, his heart is connected to ours, his heart just forgot that."

No matter how much I struggle with this fact: George Bush is a human being, too. No matter how far he has strayed from his humanity and no matter how he seems to revel in the callous killing of innocent human beings and the destruction of a country that was no threat to ours, the same Universal Creator who created us, created him. The same Creator who created the babies in Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Israel, created George. The same Creator that made my darling, faithful, and sweet boy, Casey, created George!

This is the mission of Camp Casey this year: To remind George and the rest of his heart disconnected administration that their hearts are connected to ours and the innocent people of the world who their thoughtless greed are killing. It is also our mission to remind the people of the USA who still support the carnage that their hearts are connected to the babies and children that are wantonly being killed. I have realized from the start of Shocking and Awful that George was killing people who are connected to my heart. I realize that he is killing my brothers and sisters of the heart and that is not acceptable to me.

Like one of my most favorite writers, Anne Lamott, I struggle to send love and peace to someone I really dislike. An essay she wrote for her book "Plan B" was about how to love someone you truly despised. Sure, it was easy to follow God's words when the person in front of us was incredibly lovable. The true test came when that person was anything but.

Here's a bit of what she wrote in that essay courtesy of Salon.com:

I'm often sick about Bush, the war, joblessness and the deficit, but I was also soul-sick this summer to discover the secret gladness in me, gladness that everything has gone to hell for Bush. It was sickening, to feel relief when things went badly in Iraq, when joblessness didn't improve, and I hated this in me even as it alone gave me hope that someone else might end up in power next November. I felt addicted to the energy of hating Bush, Rumsfeld, Ashcroft. I thought that if we stopped hating them, it would mean that they had won.

So I sat there in church working this through in my mind, tugging at it, yet hunkered down on the inside to protect myself from having to take it in, and then the pastor said the most stunning thing I've ever heard her say: "When someone is acting butt -ugly, God loves them just the same as God loves the innocent. They are still just as loved by God." I was shocked. I thought, Boy, are you going to get it when Mom finds out. Also, I thought she was talking about the White House, but then she kept on preaching, about Jesus, and Dr. King, and -- if you read between the lines -- the people in my church. All of us -- and there are some exquisitely good people in this church. It was outrageous. She said you don't have to support people's political agenda, but you did have to love them, if you want to follow Jesus. She said you could tell if people were following Jesus, instead of following the people who follow Jesus, because they are feeding the poor, sharing their wealth, and making sure everyone has medical insurance. Then I zoned out.

Unfortunately, change is not my strong suit. Neither is forgiveness, or letting go. Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it. But the willingness to let go comes from the pain: and pain makes us willing to change, and effort to change changes you, and jiggles the spirit, gets to it somehow, to our deepest, hardest, most beautiful, ruined parts. And then Spirit expands, because that is its nature, and it drags along the body, and finally, the mind.

One of the things I pray for is that this administration opens their hearts and minds to see beyond their own gain. Yet, in my heart I know that we have this group of individuals heading up our government so that collectively, we will all learn some of the hard lessons. I don't know all of those lessons but coming to grips with the fact that we are all one is the place to start.

I heard the U2 song "One" today and this line fits this theme perfectly:

"We're one but we're not the same
We get to carry each other, carry each other ..."

How Appropriate

2006-08-12T08:07:00.000-05:00

I like to take those goofy quizzes over on blogthings for the fun of it. I'm usually surprised at how right on the mark they are. Scientific? Hardly. But fun, all the same. So, I took the one below called "Your 2006 Summer Anthem" and look what it brought up:

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

"No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

I find that a little more than coincidental since I wrote on here back in June how that song sums up where I am right now. When I spoke with Jayne Howard Feldman earlier this summer, she said that this year was the year that I turned and faced my path completely and unabashedly. And she was right. As I continue to step forward, I see how things have lined up for me to do just that.

But the path is not without its challenges. I am aware enough to see them as "tests", if you will, of my determination to stay on my own path. I know in my heart that I have a role to play in my world service and must put my energy toward that. (I hope I don't come off as all pompous and above it all, because I really don't mean to.) I know that I am but a channel for divine energy and light to flow through and want to use that gift to be of service to others. And while it's true that I take my "healing presence" wherever I go, it's been made clear to me that there's a specific path I am to follow and I need to be aware of that.

While I really like who I've opened myself up to be, there are parts of the "old" Lisa that I miss. I don't know how to balance them and it seems (key word) easier to let one just take over and bury the other. I don't think that's the best way but right now, it's easier for me. (This probably makes no sense but it's all I'm sharing now.) Suffice to say that this probably will continue to be one of my struggles for a while. I know I'm to learn something from it and I have faith I will but it definitely puzzles me.

Anyway, I know I will look back on this year as a HUGE turning point for me. I finally stepped into my role and am no longer playing "as if". I like that.

Today is where your book begins ... the rest is still unwritten.

Things are falling into place ...

2006-08-01T08:09:00.000-05:00

... should I have had ANY doubt? (I didn't, actually)

One of the things I know about myself is that when I'm ready to move out and do something, it just happens. If I try to force it, it doesn't flow and feels unnatural.

Well, let me back up a bit and explain what I mean. I've been harboring a desire to be fully out there and do healing work and Reiki as a career. Yet, the timing wasn't right and I was hesitant to step forward. I didn't know why but it just didn't feel "right" to me. And while I'm a believer in "fake it 'til you make it" school of thought in general, for me, that's not always the answer. If I don't fully FEEEEEL what I'm doing, then I can't be present and give it my whole heart. My beloved husband is a "doer" - something comes into his head and he acts on it almost immediately. Suffice to say, my "wait 'til it feels right" attitude frustrates him.

To be fair, there have been times that his urging has coincided with my "feels right-ness" and great things have happened. For example, he urged me to contact Regina and see if she would be open to renting her Reiki studio so that I'd have some place to take someone who makes an appointment. I felt kind of silly asking someone I barely knew if I could use her studio for a set fee but figured I had nothing to lose. Her reply? "All things are possible. Come and talk to me." And thus began one of the most wonderful friendships in my life.

Back to the issue at hand, though. In January, I published a newsletter and really wanted to get things moving. While I was pleased with the newsletter, it didn't "feel" right. It was like I had taken a pie out of the oven and it wasn't quite done yet. Soon after, Lauren's illness progressed and I was caught up in that and processing the pain of letting her go. Everything else got shoved on the side, as you can imagine. In the months following her transition, I've grown an amazing amount. I have come to understand that I take my healing presence with me wherever I go. I am no longer dressed up in "mommy's clothes" but have fully come into who I am. Little by little, I am making changes - working on letting go of judgements, sending love to people who need it, opening my heart up and letting the goodness flow out into the world. It's been a natural progression for me which tells me it's right AND that it's my path.

It's August now and I am once again working on a newsletter. I've been invited to stand in for Rose Rosetree at the Pathways Expo in October along with Beautiful Flower, Rose's assitant. We will be doing aura readings and talking with people who are interested in the work Rose has trained us to do. Regina has begun a program for her Reiki students to use her studio to see friends, relatives and clients at no charge. I've had someone email me saying (and I quote) "I want to learn what you have to teach." I was bowled over, to say the least. Things are falling nicely into place and I will be doing the work I am here to do. Of this I am sure.

So, as Regina said to me, "all things ARE possible" to which I would add "when the time is right". For me, that time is now.

Discipline

2006-07-27T08:13:00.000-05:00

All my life I've fought discipline. As my mom was very busy taking care of me and my very sick dad most of my childhood, I was left to my own devices (mostly books) so I really wasn't forced to do anything, in general.

I tend to be very undisciplined and while it's not hurt me in life, I think I might have reached certain goals earlier than I did. Now, at age 45, I am learning the concept of "healthy discipline".

One of the things I've chosen to do as part of the healthy discipline has been twice daily showers. The philosophy behind this particular discipline is that as we go through our day, we pull in energies and vibrations of other people, places and situations. By showering in the evening, we wash that off us and purify our body for sleep. And believe it or not, the work you do in the dream state also accumulates various energies that need to be washed away to prepare for your day. When my teacher mentioned this process, I asked what changes come about by doing it. She responded (enigmatically) "Well, you try it and tell me!". Not the answer I wanted but it did pique my interest. It took me about three days to start a routine that included the twice daily bathings but after a week or so, I noticed that I didn't feel draggy every day. I didn't wake up with a "heavyosity" around me that had been following me and which I attributed to depression. That was very interesting to notice and it was a gradual awakening sort of like "hey! I feel pretty good every day! Hmmmm."

And that feeling has helped reinforce the benefit of this discipline. I've been doing it for about three weeks now and it's especially served me well while taking care of my mom who is in the hospital for surgery. After a full day of ministering to her needs, it feels good to just wash all that off and go to sleep free of yucky energy.

Healthy discipline - I think I rather like this concept!

A Lovely Prayer

2006-07-10T07:50:00.000-05:00

Lead us, O Lord,
from darkness to Light,
from the unreal to the Real,
from death to immortality,
from chaos to Beauty,
from the individual to the Universal,
from the many cycles to the One Life,
from outer manifestation to the Sacred Space.
Amen.

This prayer is taken from the Sancta Sophia Online site. Sancta Sophia is a mystery school teaching Esoteric Christianity. Esoteric means this:

ESOTERIC: The Greek root eso means “within.” That which is hidden, unseen, secret, inner, or out-of-sight—the meaning behind the meaning. Obscure but profound to those prepared to receive. In the New Testament, Jesus spoke of mysteries reserved for disciples which he did not offer the public. His public teachings, the parables, while commonly understood, also may contain other, deeper message

In November, I will be traveling with my teacher and mentor Regina to the Sancta Sophia seminary in Oklahoma to get a feel for the seminary and what it offers. Right now I am considering getting a certification in Spiritual Mentoring so that I can better serve those who are drawn to me. Regina is a riot and I'm sure the drive there alone (22 hours! aack!) will be an adventure much less a week at the seminary itself.

The more I read about and begin to understand Esoteric Christianity, the more it makes sense to me. Something has to truly resonate with me for it to stay in my little brain and this definitely does in a way other things (Wicca, for example) have not. Mystery Schools don't go out and seek others. If you find them and they speak to you, then you will investigate that. (That may be the way of all things in this world, eh?) So, I shall follow this path and see where it leads.

Have a lovely Monday!

Lessons don't stop

2006-06-30T06:47:00.000-05:00

One of the themes on this blog seems to be how the Universe offers us lessons that will aid us in our spiritual growth. And it's not like you reach a certain point and think "Well, I've pretty much learned everything I needed to, thanks!" - just as we continue to physically change all our lives, so do the lessons we are given.

The whole process of realizing that once Lauren's cancer returned, there was not much any of us could do to prevent it was gut wrenching. I cannot begin to tell you how many nights I cried and cried on my way home from work after hearing the results of this test or that test. It almost literally tore my heart out of my body. I miss her like you wouldn't believe and know that will be for quite a long time, as she was my true "soul" sister. But my heart is beginning to heal and I can speak of her without tearing up (although not at this moment) and I know that her warm sweet spirit is with me for all time.

So, when I got the news that my mom has breast cancer, I thought "oh, no. I can't go through this again" and so soon after Lauren. The feelings for my mother are weighed down with so many things where my love for Lauren was the purest I've ever known, so there's a mish mash of feelings going on inside about it all. But I know that lessons will be given to me by going through this with her. I don't know what the future will bring (who does?) but I do know that it is my place to be beside her through this, as much as I want it to just all go away (for a lot of reasons).

Looking back over how things went down with Lauren, I see that my angels were looking out for me in all ways. They gave me just what I needed, when I needed it. And all I have to do is ask and then pay attention. I consider Lauren one of my greatest teachers in this life by showing me what true, unconditional love felt like. In a completely different way, my mother is also one of my greatest teachers. It is through my relationship with her that I've learned the lessons that helped me get to where I am today. I really like myself now in a way I did not before and it's really through working out a lot of "mother stuff" that I got to this place. So, I honor her for that. And I keep my eyes open for both lessons and support learning them.

Interesting reading

2006-06-20T08:21:00.000-05:00

Recently, I've been reading a book by former president Jimmy Carter called "Living Faith". This is the second book by president Carter that I've read and the more I learn about this kind man, the more I respect him.

His voice comes through very clearly in his words and I can almost hear him speaking in his southern cadence. But what comes through to me most of all is that this is a man who truly walks his talk. He does not cloak his actions in the guise of spirituality; rather, he embodies his beliefs to walk the path of kindness and service to others. This is something I am working toward. Working toward the goal of making my words and my actions congruent. For some, that's probably pretty easy but for me, it's only come into my consciousness that I haven't been doing that. Reading about the life of president Carter and the questions he's raised while making decisions that affect the entire United States has helped me see that, while difficult, one can truly live their beliefs.

It's also given me space to examine what my true "of the heart" beliefs are. It is my desire to be of service to others using the gifts that I've been given. I believe that all things, large and small, happen for reasons we may never know. That there is a guiding order to the Universe is probably my strongest belief and has been with me for many, many years. And the more I delve into the world of spirituality and metaphysics, the more I see this is true. I believe that thoughts have energy and what you think about expands. You bring to yourself what you put your focus on (consciously and unconsciously)and I've seen this in action in my own life. I have other core beliefs but for now, I will leave it at this.

While I don't fully share president Carter's evangelical beliefs, I can see and respect the energy he brings to living those beliefs. Not to get into politics since I've tried to keep my feelings about that off these pages, but his presidency is considered to be a failure. And that fact saddens me because it seems to me he was the most concerned about the greater good of all the citizens he was elected to protect. He writes openly about his feelings during that time and the questions and struggles he endured. It's enlightening, to put it mildly.

I would encourage anyone interested in "walking their talk" to read some of president Carter's writings. Interesting and engaging, he comes across as one of the most honorable men in our midst today. And I respect that immensely.

Today is where your book begins ...

2006-06-04T22:31:00.000-05:00

... the rest is still unwritten.

Have you heard this song by Natasha Beddingfield called "Unwritten"? It totally speaks to me on about a zillion different levels and fits particularly today as I open the book to a different chapter of my life.

Having been released from the boring and tedious job I took in January (bows to the Uni for the divine timing), I am now actively putting myself out there to the public as a Reiki practitioner and spiritual healing facilitator.

"Feel the rain on your skin - no one else can feel it for you" she writes. Each of us has a unique view of life created by the melding of roads taken and not taken. No one else can offer just that same perspective.

The rest ... well, it may be unwritten now but each day I will create that book, page by page.

Unwritten
Natasha Beddingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins

Do YOUR part and stop

2006-05-29T06:59:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in earlier posts that I get a wonderful newsletter every couple of weeks from Jennifer at Uriel Heals. This was in my in-box today and I very much liked it.

There are many ways to heal your karma with others. From a spiritual perspective, you can learn the karma's lesson, apply forgiveness and your part in the lesson is over. From an emotional perspective, you can try to arrive at a resolution that the mind and ego are comfortable with, which can mean that you want recognition, an apology and acknowledgement of your value and participation. When you approach karma from the spiritual perspective, your understanding of the lesson is complete when you are able to forgive and move on. But when you look for validation from the emotional perspective, you are able to partially heal the karma but it will continue. Karma is complete when you do your part and stop.

It is written that the great teacher Jesus fed the crowds with fish and bread. This is a parable for the knowledge and understanding that he provided to them. It is not written, however, that he fed them; he merely made the 'food' available to them. It is not possible to force another to understanding, just as you cannot order someone who is not hungry to eat. When you try to force your perspective of understanding on another, it is like trying to force them to eat when they are not hungry.

Learning to do your part and stop means that you do what is necessary for your soul's understanding in a lesson and then you stop, allowing the other person to get what they need from the lesson. This may not deliver a resolution that the mind and ego are comfortable with. But that is not your part of the lesson. Your part only involves what you need to learn. The other person may have another aspect of the lesson to deal with and they will address it at a level they are comfortable with. When you force another to a level of understanding and acceptance that you are comfortable with, you violate their free will.

Each person that you have karma with has their own spiritual lessons to resolve and it is different for each of you. No one is better than or more competent than another. Each of you lives in total perfection. When you feel that another just isn't 'getting it' you are judging them based on your reality; they do not live in your reality and you do not live in theirs. When you can do your part of a lesson and stop, you acknowledge that you have learned what you need to in a lesson and you are free to move on. The other person is moving on as well, but in their own way. By learning to do your part and then allowing yourself to be released from the lesson, no matter what the outcome, you acknowledge and honor everyone's spiritual growth and free yourselves to move on to other things. And you release yourselves from your karma with others and move into relationships without karma.

My question to my own self after reading this was "How do you know when to stop? How do you know that you've learned your part?". Looking back over the lessons I've been given by the Universe, I see that there is no pat answer. You know when you know. I am thinking of a situation I experienced in my life quite some time ago. I met someone online and immediately took to him. I was at a very needy place in my life (and oh my lord, that is an understatement) and he gave me a wonderfully blank slate onto which I could project all I wanted and needed. I made this person my whole world despite never having met him or really even knowing who he was. Then my world collapsed when he suddenly disappeared. I was completely lost because when he left, he took what I thought was my life with him. I felt as if I had no reason to go on. But I did. I trudged through the days, seeking help where I could, and kept moving forward.

Eventually, I came to understand what had happened, why I allowed myself to give over my power to this person and how I needed to bring it back home to myself. These lessons took me the better part of a year and a half, truly. But once I got them, I understood why he had been in my life and knew that he was one of my greatest teachers. Because it was from that "dark night of the soul" that my truly spiritual side finally came out into the open and I started down the path I am so firmly on today. I did MY part by examining what his presence but most especially his absence meant to me. I not only forgave myself but him as well. And wouldn't you know it? As soon as I was able to do that piece, guess who ambled back into my life? But this time, something HAD shifted and I knew that I wouldn't be going back to the person I was when he first left.

I did my part. And stopped.

Just for today

2006-05-27T10:27:00.000-05:00

The five Reiki principles start with those words: Just for today and I realize that this day is the only one I can act on (in the present moment) and be concerned about. I happened upon this blog Eat4today which incorporates the same theme of being present in your life JUST FOR TODAY and applies it to eating.

One of the things Regina mentioned is that as she and her fellow students were going through their seminary studies, most (if not all) began to gain weight, as if to ground themselves as they took in so much light and higher vibrational energy. As they learned to integrate it into their being, they gradually lost the weight. I shan't blame my recent and alarming (to me!) weight gain on my forays into the world of high vibrations (since I've been in this world for going on 4 years now) yet I don't think it's totally about filling a void, either. Perhaps, in my case, it's a blend of the two. As I move fully into the world of woo-woo, it will require me to surround myself with and integrate those higher blasts of energy but that also means that I must make a stronger effort to remain grounded. Eating is, of course, one of the premier ways of grounding. In fact, I'd dare say that many lightworkers and empaths have food issues for that very reason.

I look at this issue as a call to learn ways of grounding that are much kinder to my body than hauling around extra poundage and making me sad that I can't fit in my clothes. The Universe is posing a challenge to me: What will *I* do (just for today) that allows me to keep that amazing energy in my body but also allows me to do what I need to in the physical world? So, that's my question to myself today.

Just for today, how can I ground myself without eating food my body doesn't need? I shall ponder this as I clear off my dining room table of the enormous piles of paper and crap I've accumulated over the past month.

BTW, here are the Reiki Principles as handed down by Dr. Mikao Usui:

Just for today, I shall not worry.
Just for today, I shall not anger.
Just for today, I will make my living honestly.
Just for today, I will honor my parents, elders and teachers.
Just for today, I will honor every living thing.

Sitting in the stillness

2006-05-26T06:49:00.000-05:00

and in that stillness
there was a freedom I never felt before. - Sarah McLachlan

So, the messages that came through my Reiki Sensei this weekend were about sitting in the stillness. In fact, Dr. Usui was quite adamant about it. "Be Still!" he said through Regina. The guides and teachers also asked me "What's your hurry?" and admonished me to " .. slow down".

Grr. I don't really want to do that but I think I need to. I was drawn to a book that Regina had sitting out over the weekend. It's called Adventures in Meditation, Vol 1. by Carol E. Parrish-Harra, Ph.D. Dr. Parrish-Harra is the dean at the Sancta Sophia School of Wisdom and is a prolific writer and speaker. Anyway, in this book, I found a passage that spoke to me quite loudly:

"In these lessons, you are reminded to begin by just doing the work; as lessons proceed, you will be guided in how to improve techniques and move from level to level. The first step is always to begin. Refinement comes with established practice. [snip] Without practice, many additional ideas have no gift to offer."

Perhaps it is the stillness that calls me to look at spending time on a retreat or in a convent of some sort. In fact, the convent thing keeps getting stronger all the time. Not as a way of life, mind, but more as a place to visit and bathe in the sacred energy that surrounds such a place. I don't know. What I do know is that lessons I need to move to the next level await me in that silence.

To Lauren on her birthday

2006-05-23T08:07:00.000-05:00

Hi sweetie,

It’s a lovely day out today and I’m glad. Seeing the blooming flowers and trees brings me joy and I think of you when I see them as well. Okay, the truth is I think of you when I see anything (ha! You found me out!). As in your life you were with me in my heart, it is even more true now after you’ve moved to your angelic home.

I want to thank you for the many, many reminders that you are always with me. They help keep me focused on what is in front of me every day instead of drifting off into my sadness over missing you. Which still overwhelmes me at times but I am working through it. I still actually can’t believe you aren’t around - I think I’m secretly pretending that you are just away and being a crap pen pal. The whole thing just seems so surreal to me, you know? And yet, I know that this was the way it was meant to go down. All of it. If I hold tight to the things I believe are true in this world, and I do, then I have to believe that all of the things that have happened are lessons. We can choose to learn the lessons or we can ignore them. I am choosing to learn them and you have been one of my greatest teachers, La.

Not to deify you or anything because oh my goodness, you’d hate that. After all, you were at heart just a kid moving through life laughing, taking pictures, writing wacky comments on your blog and just living. Pretty much what anyone else does day to day. Yet, the way you worked through this illness, with that smile on your face, a sense of humor and your incredible faith is a reminder to me that guides and teachers are everywhere. Even now, I continue to be amazed at how many lives you touched in the course of your life and most especially the past few years. Amazed but not surprised. The thing that popped into my mind about it was that somehow you managed to truly “get” the essence of each person and help them feel loved for exactly who they are. You did that with me and when I looked at the big picture, I see you did that with everyone from your friends to your family (I think here of my mom and how she loved you. You always reflected that love back to her a hundredfold in a pure way, without any yuck attached to it at all. She needed that pure love, something I cannot give her. ) While it came naturally to you, know that it’s something many people are unable to do at all in their life. To radiate pure joy, love and light was one of your best gifts.

Today, your 20th birthday, I celebrate who you were and who you will always be in my heart. It is purely selfish of me to wish you were back here on this earth. I miss your presence and emails and blog entries. I miss your goofiness - which allowed my inner twelve year old to shine and feel loved. And most of all, I miss your heart - so big it couldn’t be contained. All I wanted was your highest good and my wish has been granted. Because where you are today and for the rest of all time, *is* your highest good.

I love and miss you more than ANY words on ANY pages can communicate. But you know that, right?

And yes, seriously, the force IS “really rather strong with you, Luke".

Love and stuff,
Godmommy

ps: nothing

Would I have the courage?

2006-05-21T06:46:00.000-05:00

This young woman, Jean Rohe, delivered an amazing commencement speech for the graduating class of the New School. She planned on discussing " ... social responsibility in a time of war, but in much more oblique terms. I wanted to speak about communication, and how I have found that one of my strongest and most enjoyable methods of communication is music." Instead, after finding out that John McCain had been invited to speak, against the wishes of the student body (who, in fact, they were there to honor), she revised her speech to encompass a much larger topic.

She states in her closing:

We all have much work to do, and for the most part the media do not represent us, the small people who don't hold any special titles but who feel the weight of our government's actions on our backs each and every day. I never expected to get the opportunity to speak the way I did yesterday, but I'm so glad that I did. I hope that other people found strength in my act of protest and will one day find themselves in my position, drawing out their own bravery to speak truth.

Those who know me well know my feelings about our political climate so I won't go into that here. What I do want to discuss, albeit briefly, is the strength and courage it takes to speak your truth, whether it's it front of thousands at Madison Square Garden or in front of your own parents. It can be scary to do that - it is for me, even now. As I grow into who I have always been but didn't have the courage to show or acknowlege, I understand more fully the courage it takes some of us to live our truth.

I was raised Catholic but always questioned beliefs and wanted to know the "why" behind it. For one reason or another, it never fully resonated with me in my soul but for the most part, I went along with it because in my family it was "the thing to do". As I got into high school, I began to shed those beliefs but had nothing with which to replace them. And that was okay to me, despite being quietly looked down upon in our family for not following the pack. As if, because I didn't hold those same beliefs I was "less than" what others were. It was subtle but it was there.

Still, I went on my own way, ignoring that as best I could but never deep down feeling "accepted". Over the past five years, I've found that spiritual piece of myself again and embraced it in a way I had not before. I'm sure my family would be incredibly surprised to see it flourish in the way I sense it is going to but that worries me less and less. What is important is being fully Lisa, in the best way I can.

The young woman I mentioned in the opening paragraph learned that lesson early, it seems. And good for her. We all get there in our own time, when we can speak our own truth and detach from the outcome.

What will it take for you to speak your truth and what does that really mean to you? I invite you to think more about it and comment below if you wish.

-L-

Musings on Mother's Day from a spiritual perspective

2006-05-15T08:27:00.000-05:00

I subscribe to a newsletter from the Uriel Heals website and this bit (excerpted below) was in yesterday's offering. I am slowly changing my perspective to seeing that we choose those who are in our lives for the lessons we can learn from them. As I was reading this entry by one of my favorite bloggers, Angry Black Bitch, I pondered what lessons we learn specifically from our mothers. I will write more about this a bit later. For now, though, here's some food for thought.

There is a generation of lightworkers, that I also belong to, that has had a difficult history with their mother. This history includes a wide range of experiences that do not give us that 'warm, fuzzy' feeling when we remember our experiences with our mother. When we look at these experiences from an emotional perspective, they can make us sad and angry. But if we look at them from a spiritual perspective, our mother is the person who agreed to bring us into the world and to introduce us to our lessons.

I do not wish to underestimate the physical and emotional damage that may have been inflicted in some family relationships. Within a spiritual context, however, we choose our lives and the parents who will best prepare us to learn what we need to in this lifetime. Even after we have learned the lessons, we can have difficulty resolving our feelings about our experiences, especially our frustration at our inability to express them to those who wounded us . But there is one way to resolve this dilemma.

At some point, we can choose to stop seeing our mother from our childhood perspective, within the context of a 'mother' and everything that our society has taught us that this should mean. Then we can see her as a person, as someone who brought us into the world, as part of our soul group and someone with whom we have shared many lifetimes. In this lifetime she may not have been gentle, kind, supportive and caring-indeed, she may have been just the opposite. But when we can see her from a different perspective and view our experience with her as part of our chosen life experience, we can reconcile our feelings and honor her spirit for the part that she played in our lessons.

My guiding statement these days

2006-05-12T08:05:00.000-05:00

I found this is a catalogue for "Sounds True" products and knew as soon as I read it, that it was true for where I am right now.

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid. - Audre Lorde

What's your guiding statement for where you are right now??

Enjoy your day!

More on messages from the Uni

2006-05-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

I subscribe to this nifty daily email called "Notes from the Universe" from this interesting site. Some days they are kind of hokey and some days they hit the nail right on the head. Yesterday's note was this:

When you see things that pain you, Lisa, that sadden you, or that make your heart ache, remember... you're not seeing all.

I hope you never need this one.

All love,
The Universe

That's kind of how I looked at Lauren's passing. I am not seeing "the all" of the situation and while I am sad about her not being here any longer (and that, my friends, is an understatement), I know there's a much larger picture that I don't see and reasons why things go down as they do. And I may never know. I just have to trust that there are reasons for these things and keep looking for the lessons in them for me.

I think you'll find I talk about "lessons" quite a bit. The more I learn about the nature of the woo woo, the more I see that things don't happen randomly and, going with yesterday's post, if we pay attention, there's so much to see and learn from. You come into the world with lessons to learn and the Universe presents you a myriad of ways to "get it". Each time you fail to find the lesson for you inherent in the situation, the Universe is compelled to show you again but this time a tad more clearly (i.e.: a larger THWAK! on the head). Thwacks hurt, y'all. This I know well.

We can't know "all" but we can know our little piece of it and pay attention. (OOOH! There's that subject again!)

Happy Wednesday!

If we but pay attention

2006-05-09T07:22:00.000-05:00

One of the things I most love about my life is the appearance of things that might seem merely coincidental to others but to me are messages. Guidance from Spirit doesn't always come with a big clap of thunder and announce itself. (I wish it would sometimes, but it doesn't seem to work that way, alas.) It sneaks in on "little cat feet" (apolgies to ee cummings) so so quietly that you hardly know it's there.

I think the trick is this - ASK for guidance and messages from your angels and guides. Then, pay attention. And this is the hardest part for many people, especially those who think that things happen randomly. Rose taught me to "trust what you get" when you ask for something. I've never gone wrong doing that.

For instance, after my most beloved goddaughter passed away in March, I asked her to let me know she's around in spirit. I was driving home at the time I asked and as I made the right turn onto my street, my pocketbook fell off the car seat. When I pulled into my driveway and leaned down to pick it up, the only thing that fell out was a small metal angel I kept in a secret pocket in my wallet. I smiled because I know this was what I asked for - a small sign. She knew I paid attention to what I got and so she sent it to me just like that. I thanked her for letting me know she was there and put the Angel back in my wallet.

Oh, and that's the other piece ... always be in gratitude for what you get. I don't take their communications for granted and always thank my angels and spirit guides for sharing themselves with me.

So, it boils down to three steps:

1. ASK! (This is a hard one, I know)

2. Pay attention to the small things! (easier for me)

3. Show gratitude for what you get (regardless of what it is because it is meant for you to use to move to the next step).

Blessings as you go about your day.

Changing templates and moods

2006-05-07T21:50:00.000-05:00

So, yeah. I have been mucking around with the template and am working on making the feel of the site more like me. I think this is a good start.

Last week on my regular blog Snarkypants was "Magnificence Week" - and I challenged my readers to list five magnificent things about themselves each day for five days. They totally rose to the challenge, too! I really appreciate that they opened themselves up to trying something new and I promise not to throw out a challenge like that tooooo often!

I am fortunate now that I know my strengths and love myself for them. There was a time when all I could see were the flaws in myself ... not thin enough, not married soon enough (for my family, anyway), no children, not following a traditional catholic path - all the things I thought others wanted of me. Sure, I was smart and a good writer but 38 and not married?? GASP! It took a lot of work on my part to accept who I really, truly am. And not only accept that, but actually like who I am.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it wasn't hard for me to list the ways I am magnificent. What was hard was getting to the place where I could let them flow freely. I think I'm there.

So, we start here ...

2006-05-07T08:28:00.000-05:00

... right where we are. Looks like the few entries I had on my other blog were wiped out. Ah, such are the ways of the Universe, I suppose.

I've been working with Rose Rosetree for almost three years now - learning Aura Reading, Spiritual Healing techniques and all kinds of interesting things. I've even had her do a "Past Life Regression" for me (and how cool was that??). She is a vibrant, amazing person. Many of her students have started blogs on various topics that might be of interest to those who are interested in learning more about these types of metaphysical concepts. You can check those out by going here - the Portal of Deeper Perception right on Rose's site.

My contribution to the cause? This here little blog where I plan to discuss all kinds of things - not only those taught by Rose but also things I've learned along the way from so many of my teachers and mentors.

My vision declaration is the quote by Ghandi at the top of the page: "Be the change you wish to see in this world." Being = doing. That is sometimes the hard part for me. Mostly, I like to sit around and think about these concepts and mull them over in my head. Getting out and DOING them is another matter altogether. Yet, the time is definitely coming for me to do that. Wanna hold my hand as I get up and running? :)