I mentioned in earlier posts that I get a wonderful newsletter every couple of weeks from Jennifer at Uriel Heals. This was in my in-box today and I very much liked it.

There are many ways to heal your karma with others. From a spiritual perspective, you can learn the karma's lesson, apply forgiveness and your part in the lesson is over. From an emotional perspective, you can try to arrive at a resolution that the mind and ego are comfortable with, which can mean that you want recognition, an apology and acknowledgement of your value and participation. When you approach karma from the spiritual perspective, your understanding of the lesson is complete when you are able to forgive and move on. But when you look for validation from the emotional perspective, you are able to partially heal the karma but it will continue. Karma is complete when you do your part and stop.

It is written that the great teacher Jesus fed the crowds with fish and bread. This is a parable for the knowledge and understanding that he provided to them. It is not written, however, that he fed them; he merely made the 'food' available to them. It is not possible to force another to understanding, just as you cannot order someone who is not hungry to eat. When you try to force your perspective of understanding on another, it is like trying to force them to eat when they are not hungry.

Learning to do your part and stop means that you do what is necessary for your soul's understanding in a lesson and then you stop, allowing the other person to get what they need from the lesson. This may not deliver a resolution that the mind and ego are comfortable with. But that is not your part of the lesson. Your part only involves what you need to learn. The other person may have another aspect of the lesson to deal with and they will address it at a level they are comfortable with. When you force another to a level of understanding and acceptance that you are comfortable with, you violate their free will.

Each person that you have karma with has their own spiritual lessons to resolve and it is different for each of you. No one is better than or more competent than another. Each of you lives in total perfection. When you feel that another just isn't 'getting it' you are judging them based on your reality; they do not live in your reality and you do not live in theirs. When you can do your part of a lesson and stop, you acknowledge that you have learned what you need to in a lesson and you are free to move on. The other person is moving on as well, but in their own way. By learning to do your part and then allowing yourself to be released from the lesson, no matter what the outcome, you acknowledge and honor everyone's spiritual growth and free yourselves to move on to other things. And you release yourselves from your karma with others and move into relationships without karma.

My question to my own self after reading this was "How do you know when to stop? How do you know that you've learned your part?". Looking back over the lessons I've been given by the Universe, I see that there is no pat answer. You know when you know. I am thinking of a situation I experienced in my life quite some time ago. I met someone online and immediately took to him. I was at a very needy place in my life (and oh my lord, that is an understatement) and he gave me a wonderfully blank slate onto which I could project all I wanted and needed. I made this person my whole world despite never having met him or really even knowing who he was. Then my world collapsed when he suddenly disappeared. I was completely lost because when he left, he took what I thought was my life with him. I felt as if I had no reason to go on. But I did. I trudged through the days, seeking help where I could, and kept moving forward.

Eventually, I came to understand what had happened, why I allowed myself to give over my power to this person and how I needed to bring it back home to myself. These lessons took me the better part of a year and a half, truly. But once I got them, I understood why he had been in my life and knew that he was one of my greatest teachers. Because it was from that "dark night of the soul" that my truly spiritual side finally came out into the open and I started down the path I am so firmly on today. I did MY part by examining what his presence but most especially his absence meant to me. I not only forgave myself but him as well. And wouldn't you know it? As soon as I was able to do that piece, guess who ambled back into my life? But this time, something HAD shifted and I knew that I wouldn't be going back to the person I was when he first left.

I did my part. And stopped.